


Long Live Heda

by wazzy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, After Becca's island, F/F, Luna is the main character, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:41:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28341822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wazzy/pseuds/wazzy
Summary: "She was once again taken somewhere against her will. Once again given a choice that felt like it had already been made for her. Only this time, she knew she could have something she wanted as well. All she had to do was stay put."
Relationships: Luna/Raven Reyes
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Luna woke in the dark cave she’d taken refuge in after her escape from the island. From skaikru and their unique brand of cruelty. Every fiber of her being cried out for more rest, but she wanted to put as much distance as she could between herself and that island as possible. She was actually thinking that maybe it was time to go home. Not the home she’d abandoned in order to save those she loved, nor the streets of the capital where she was raised with the other night bloods. Before she lived in Polis, Luna and her brother had been found at the foot of Mount Weather. Knowing what they knew about the place now, and the blood experiments, she felt almost lucky to have been found by Titus’ people first. It just felt right to spend the end where it all began.   
  
The chill of the night had seeped into her bones, but the curly haired nomad simply began her trudge through the trees. She had no idea how much time was left, or if she'd even make it to her destination. None of it seemed to matter. She had resigned herself to simply move forward until she could not any longer. Luna reached into her jacket pockets for a bit of warmth for her chilled digits. She felt something inside that wasn’t dried meat or even tinder for a fire. She wrapped her tingling fingers around what felt to be a small flat piece of cool metal. When she pulled it from her pocket, the walls she’d built trying to tell herself she no longer cared what happened to herself or anyone else melted away.   
  
In her palm, Luna held a small silver likeness of the waning moon attached to a woven leather chord. She knew without having to be told that it was from Raven. Raven who told her stories of the stars late at night when neither of them could sleep. Who told her of her namesake to distract her from the pain of the needles. The Raven who had given her hope and showed her kindness when she was surrounded by the darkness. Thinking of her smile and gentle touch being among the ashes that Luna would survive to see gripped her heart with an icy touch. She knew she had to return to Raven. Even if it was just to say goodbye.  
  
———  
  
Taking a short cut back through Polis was risky Luna knew, but she scolded herself for not resisting the temptation while her hand was gripped tight around the wrist of the flamekeeper who had her cornered. She had to admit, she was surprised. It was rare that anyone had the skill to catch her off guard. It wasn’t until it was too late that she’d realized she was being followed around the busy market place, and when she saw the familiar robes she understood exactly what was going to happen.   
  
**How desperate you must be to come to me...**  
  
Gaia sighed.   
**YES.**  
She hissed out snatching her wrist out of the cloaked woman's hand.  
**I would not waste my time with the coward who ran from her own conclave. But desperate times are here. Now more than ever we need a commander. You are the last known of the Nightbloods.**  
  
Luna grinned. Making Gaia regret that she'd laid all her hope into this meeting.  
**What makes you think I care? Why would I waste my time being Heda to walking corpses?**  
  
Gaia’s expression turned to one of anger. How could one be so selfish? Perhaps Titus was right, and Luna was simply an undeserving coward.  
**Listen to yourself! You are the last of the sacred blood, the last of your clan, and now you wish to be the last of humanity? You can save your people!**  
  
**You are wrong. My people are already dead.**  
  
That was not news to the young woman. She'd already spoken to Rowan when he arrived with Skaikru. Her glare softened.   
**I know you lost many, and I am sorry for that. Truly I am. Does your loss mean that the rest of us should suffer and die?**  
  
She was surprised when Luna seemed to easily concede.   
**Let's say I do care, and I ascend. You want me to save everyone by doing what exactly?**  
  
\---  
  
The wheels began to turn as she listened to the flamekeeper speak of a bunker that could save a number of people from destruction. That they needed a true commander to choose who would share it with skaikru. That made her scowl deepen. The sky people were guaranteed a place? She threw back her hood and gritted her teeth.   
  
**They do not deserve to survive!**  
  
Gaia shook her head. Her long dreaded locks shaking along with it.   
**That decision would be Heda's to make. Though they maintain that they are the only ones who know the tech well enough to keep it working...**  
  
They both knew that this much was true. No one aside from skaikru would know anything about the tech down there. Her mind wandered. When Clarke and her people had come to Luna the first time, she was happy. Her people were still alive and thriving. They were safe from conflict, and even close to an end of season celebration. They were all at peace. She was at peace.  
  
Now there was nothing left. She’d not had a decent night of sleep since the sky people brought their problems to her oasis on the sea. Since she’d had to kill Derrick and others who had once been so dear to her to save the rest of her clan. The sky people had brought her nothing but misery. Even when the people she’d killed for in order to protect got sick, and wilted to death around her and she needed help, all they wanted was to take her bone marrow and would not take no for an answer.   
  
Gaia was right though. No matter how furious she was with the way things turned out, the rest of humanity did not deserve to suffer because she was unwilling to try. Standing in front of this young flamekeeper, Luna was tempted to believe perhaps it was fate that intervened. She’d needed a way to get back to the island fast, and wound up being spotted while she searched the city for the means to do so. She was once again taken somewhere against her will. Once again given a choice that felt like it had already been made for her. Only this time, she knew she could have something she wanted as well. All she had to do was stay put. 

  


Luna's shoulders relaxed. Something about the way her eyes darted here and there not focusing on any one thing in the room with them worried her. Luna had been known as a coward sure, but it was also known that she was a fierce warrior. One that could summon the strength of someone twice her size, and was as quick as she was deadly. The taller woman said nothing and continued to smile to herself for a long moment. It made Gaia uneasy. She had knowledge of those commanders who had ascended and become...withdrawn. Holding council with the voices in their head, and letting insanity guide them. Had this sickness already reached Luna even without the flame? Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden clap followed by a giggle. It did nothing to persuade Gaia that she was incorrect.  
  
**First, I will ascend. Then, I want all the sky people brought before me. ALL of them.**  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven POV

Raven hadn’t slept in days. Now that she was beginning to slow down she realized she hadn't eaten either. She didn’t want to. Getting to space was much more important to her. The shortness of breath told her that another seizure was coming, but not with enough time to get to the kit that was on the other side of the room. 

"Raven!" Raven knew she was in the ground. She could feel her body convulsing. Through eyes half shut she saw Emori standing over her, Murphy running up behind her. She wanted to tell them that she'd be alright, but she couldn't speak. Murphy had the seizure kit. Raven would have laughed at the look of worry he had on his face. Poke fun at him for looking as if he actually cared what happened to her. Just before the world went dark she saw three grounders approaching them. She tried to scream, yell, anything to tell Murphy to turn around, but her jaw was clenched too tight. They were all going to die now. All because she couldn't open her mouth to speak.

———

Words she couldn't understand were being exchanged in low voices around her. Raven could smell something like burnt pine and knew automatically she wasn't where she should be. She hardly remembered what she had been doing when she collapsed or what happened during. She thought she’d seen grounders, but surely not. Curiosity got the best of her, and her eyes opened. At first everything seemed too dim for her to make anything out. After being in a place with electricity for days and then going to a candle lit grounder building, it made sense. One of the women who was standing above her looked down, and then excitedly spat out a string of words to someone else who ran from the room. None of them sounded familiar except the word Heda. That only confused her. There was no Heda. She knew for a fact that Lexa was dead. 

“Who are you? And where are my friends?” She hadn’t even thought about the fact that she barely considered Murphy a friend. He was at least familiar, and despite the anger she had toward him most of the time, she didn’t wish him death. 

Raven grumbled as she had to snatch her leg brace from the grounder that was left with her. It seemed that not all of them spoke common, and since she didn't speak their language it was a frustrating exchange. She wanted to know what happened to Murphy and Emori. Why she was taken from the lab. Where were the others? Abby? Clarke? Monty? Miller? She knew she certainly wasn't willing to just wait for whoever the hell was coming to get her from this room. The more she struggled with the straps, the more frustrated she became. She hadn't even heard the door to the room open. When she saw a hand reach out and land on hers as she fastened the brace tight. She looked up to the owner of the hand and came face to face with a much paler than she remembered, but very much alive and well Luna. Her face was covered in the ashen paint of a warrior. She was dressed from head to toe as if she were going in to battle, but Raven’s heart swelled all the same. 

"Luna!" She embraced the woman and then awkwardly let go realizing the hug was not quite being returned. She hadn’t thought she'd ever see her again. "What are you doing here? What's going on?" Her grin spread as looked Luna up and down. "Nice duds, Luna! Who you gettin' dressed up for?" There was a gasp from the woman she'd almost had to fight for her leg brace each time she spoke to Luna which confused her, but she ignored it. Luna growled something in trig, and the woman left closing the door behind her. 

After she dismissed the other grounder, Luna motioned for Raven to sit. "There is a lot to explain, and not a lot of time. All that is important is that I found you before it’s too late. My men tell me you were unwell when they found you. How do you feel?" Raven’s smile dropped slightly. Luna’s men? Since when did Luna have men? She seen the woman but days ago, and knew that she was the last of her clan. "I’m.., I’m fine. What do you mean YOUR men? Why did you bring me here?" Luna shifted and cleared her throat, "How to explain..." Raven stood once more and crossed her arms over her chest. "Just spit it out Luna. What the hell is going on?" 

"When we are alone you may call me that, but it is considered disrespectful...I am Heda now. That is...that is not important." Her jaw dropped. The woman that had been there before had said something about Heda, and minutes later Luna showed up looking like a much more intense version of Lexa herself. How had she not put it together? "You have the flame in your head.” She stated out loud. “Yes Raven, but please. It is not important now. What is important is that...I am the new commander, and we have less than two days to get a certain number of people into this bunker... But I am the one who chooses. I do not wish to choose wrongly. You are the only one I know I can trust. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Raven's brow furrowed. Unfortunately she knew exactly what Luna was saying. It felt as if she'd just been punched in the gut. "You want me to help you choose who lives and who dies..." 

———

She paced back and forth unevenly. It was painful, but Raven wouldn’t allowed herself to be touched in this moment. Especially not by this woman she had considered her friend. “This is not what I do. This is Clarke's territory. She chooses." Luna closed her eyes and rubbed her fingers in a circular pattered just between her eyes. "Roan says that there is enough space for one hundred people from each clan. I have left it up to their people to choose those hundred. I do not trust the sky people. Least of all Clarke and her mother. It has to be you Raven."

Raven scoffed. "What makes you think I WANT to make this choice?" She only stopped pacing when Luna stood and placed her hands on her shoulders. "You may not WANT to make the choice Raven, but if it were up to me, I would burn every last one of them. Except for you." That made her stop. A slow building rage began to boil her blood. The Luna she spent time with would have never said those words. “The Luna I know wanted peace. She didn't want to be the commander!" Luna nodded solemnly. "Yes. I wanted a lot of things. Those wants were childish. Now I am Heda of both our peoples. I intend to upkeep Lexa's bargain to the sky people to keep the peace, and I am asking you Raven kom skaikru. Will you choose those of your clan to save, or will you let all of mankind die because you don't WANT to make a difficult decision?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The list has already been made, but Luna notices that Raven is not on it.

The ashen faced warrior felt like she was going to be sick. “I won’t last through the end of the week. Abby will take my place.” The words were spoken softly but sounded so loud in Luna’s ears. She could set aside her hatred for Abby if it meant making Raven reconsider. “No one can take your place Raven...Fine, I will allow Abby to be released as well.” But Raven didn’t turn to look at her. She smiled softly. “She’s been good to me. I know that if there were another choice, she wouldn’t have hurt you. Just give her a chance.” That sickening feeling in her gut only grew. The words that Raven wasn’t saying are the words she feared at this point. Luna had gone back to Polis despite swearing to never step foot in the city again, she’d become commander which she’d already turned down, and she was about to spend the next five years underground away from the sun and wind on her skin. All because she HAD to go back to find Raven. 

“Of course I will give her a chance. You will be there to make sure I do.” For the first time since Luna told her she had to be the one to choose one hundred of her people, Raven looked at her. It wasn’t a look of disgust or fear. It was sadness. “I am dying Luna. There is no point in me taking the spot of someone who could contribute.” She said the words, and they came out confidently, but her arm seemed to tremble. Luna stepped forward wanting to say something anything that could comfort her, but none of those words came. “Raven I...” she pulled the moon from inside her leathers. “I got your gift.” She watched as Raven bit her lip and looked away toward the city below once more. “I’m glad. You’ll have a piece of me then.” Luna watched as Raven for all her sternness and brave faced antics began to shake. The Commander swallowed and put her arms around the world weary engineer. There had always been something unspoken between them. It seemed now was the time to speak it into existence and let it breathe if only for a short while. They swayed gently until it was Luna who broke. Even with the voices of the commanders condemning her for her weakness she confessed. “I...care for you. I can not let you die without knowing that you touched my life. And were it not for you...mankind would have no future.” 

Raven sighed and turned in Luna’s arms. “I always knew I was pretty great.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Luna sighed. “You are better than great. You are amazing.” She looked to Raven’s lips and longed to give her a parting gift, but once the outrage turned over in her mind, there was one voice above all others that told her she could not let this happen. It told her that against the odds, she had to try to save Raven. The woman before her cleared her throat. “Wow. Thought you might actually make a move on me this time.” Luna blinked snapping out of it. Make a move? “Yes. I’d...like us to spend this night together.” Raven chuckled. “You can’t even kiss me, and now you want me to spend the night?” Luna felt her cheeks warm. “I would never imply...that’s not how I meant...” then she realized Raven was just teasing her. She was good at that. Making Luna feel like everybody else. Even when they both knew she wasn’t. 

Luna pressed her forehead to Raven’s. “If I kiss you now, why would you stick around?” She teased back. “Please. Let’s spend the night together. I’ll wash my face. Abandon my armor. We can just be Luna and Raven tonight.” Raven seemed to actually be thinking about it before she exhaled. “It’s good to know you’re still in there under all of this...stuff.” Luna smiled. “Of course I am.” “Fine. We can spend the night together. Just...we don’t talk about this being our last night. We don’t do any of that shit. Let’s just treat this like any other night.” Luna nodded. “I promise.”

———

Talking to Abby proved to be trying. Not because of Abby, but because of the violent impulses that felt so close to becoming a reality when she was in the same room as her. She imagined herself strapping Abby to a chair and making her watch as she slit the throats of those she cared about. Thoughts like that were becoming far too commonplace now, but Gaia promised that she would help her deal with it. Like all good things, it would take practice. “I am not asking you Abby. I am telling you. You will save Raven’s life, or you will join her in death. She is the only reason you have a spot in this bunker at all. She was very willing to give her life for yours, and I don’t think you deserve it.” Abby pressed her lips together tightly forming a straight disapproving line. “Raven means a lot to me, but there is nothing to be done about her condition. She has computer code in her brain that is killing her.” Luna glared. “Then perhaps I should be talking to Monty.” Abby blinked. “Oh...that’s good... I think I have an idea.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bunker Day 1

“Now let’s say that the code is in something more organic.” She was hesitant at first to tell him the truth considering he’d just lost his girlfriend and best friend. Another loss, and this kid would likely break. But it was evident in the raised eyebrow and open mouth about to tell her she was crazy that he would need some convincing. “It’s Raven...” She didn’t need to say more than that before he stood. Monty blinked up at Abby sternly. “What you’re talking about verges on fringe science. Computers are one thing, but the amount of time needed to reboot... even if you brought her back, she’d be brain dead...” he stopped and frowned. “You don’t really care do you?” 

Abby understood why he was upset. There was a difference between Raven dying, and them trying to interfere with her death only to kill her anyway. “You don’t have to be involved. I understand your hesitation. Part of the reason I’m doing this is that, Luna has made it very clear that if I do not find a solution, then I have outlived my usefulness to her. I have nothing but respect for Raven, and I respect her decision to give her life to save another. But the life she wanted to save was mine.” Monty’s expression softened. Their eyes met for a brief moment. “What do you need me to do?” Abby put her hand on his shoulder. “We need to figure out how to purge the code without killing her.”

———

For a brief moment, it was so easy to forget that this woman in dark armor had imprisoned all of Skaikru, and had all but forced her to choose which of her friends would live, and which of them would share her fate. Raven could truly believe that Luna cared about her. She could see the unmistakable hurt in the commander’s eyes when Raven told her that she was dying. She could see the longing, and regret. Seeing those emotions made her feel as though her defenses had fallen. That is why such a sweet moment had happened between them. As soon as Luna walked away though, she cringed just imagining having to face her again. What if the next and last time they stood face to face, Raven did not see the Luna she’d grown so close to on that island, but instead, the seemingly emotionless terror that had confessed her want to burn all of Skaikru alive?

There was no telling what she would get, and honestly, she was starting to come to terms with the fact that none of it mattered anymore. Leaving seemed to be her only option. She wouldn’t have to say good bye to anyone. She was never really any good at goodbyes anyway. She wouldn’t have to have her heart broken any further by the entity once known as Luna. Hell, her guilt over condemning others to death for their lack of skill or usefulness wouldn’t last long either. She could just find somewhere quiet to spend her last moments and it would all be over soon. In the end, she never made it out of the tower. Raven had left the chambers she’d come to consciousness in earlier that day, and after casually wandering the scarcely decorated halls she’d decided what the quickest route out would be. Making her way down the hallway would have been much easier were it not for the sudden sharp pain. It felt as if it were an active drill between her ears made her stumble back against a wall. She’d caught herself, but soon found that the pain was too much to bury. She called out with both fists applying pressure to her temples as if that would somehow make it stop. Less than two heartbeats later, the world grew dark.

TTTT

Raven had been a fierce presence every day that Luna had known her. She exuded strength, confidence, caring, and wisdom. Even if her insight was limited and her temper quick, she adjusted what she said and thought based on facts and information. Every single trait that Luna equated with the person she knew was absent in the body that lay on the table in Abby Griffin’s care. Her skin took on a gray hue as if all the blood drained from her. Her lips were an unhealthy shade of blue. But what stood out was just how small and fragile she looked. The steady beeping of the machine was supposed to assure Luna that Raven was “stable”. She’d seen the brain scans the apprentice Jackson showed her. How clear or unclear they were meant nothing to her. Not when she was seeing how lifeless Raven looked. 

A chorus of whispers only Luna could hear interrupted her thoughts.  
_What did you think would happen? You told the woman if she failed, she would die. She would do and say anything to keep herself alive._

Luna’s head snapped to the side. If all her willpower could be focused through her eyes, she would have killed the doctor with the way she looked at her. Abby held her hands up with her palms out. “I have no reason to lie Luna. She will wake once her body had recovered. She’s malnourished, dehydrated, undoubtedly sleep deprived...Raven pushed herself harder than anyone. She neglected to take care of herself. After she’s recovered she’ll wake up. If she doesn’t...you can kill me yourself.” 

Luna thought about what Abby was saying. It was true. Raven seemed to take care of others before herself. It made sense that she’d need to recover. “How long Abby Griffin?” The apprentice tried to interject, but Luna didn’t even look his direction. She took a step forward to Abby. “How long?” Abby’s jaw clenched as if she were steeling herself to take a hit. “All we can do is wait. There are some scans and tests I can do to check on her progress, but I can’t predict exactly when.” 

_See? She’s lying! She could show you pictures of anything! She knows you don’t understand all of this tech. She is keeping the body alive, but Raven is dead. You can see it for yourself. Look at her! Is she there? She’s not there._   
Luna wordlessly turned to glance once more at Raven. She put her faith in the fact that Abby was an honorable person. She wanted Luna to give her a chance. For the first time since she entered the room, Luna gave her full attention to Jackson. “These tests. You know how to perform them?” He glanced behind Luna undoubtedly trying to gleam something from Abby. Luna pretended not to notice. She had her answer. He could do them. “Guards!” Two former trikru warriors entered the room. “Take Abby below.” Abby did not seem to resist. She simply nodded at Jackson and let herself be taken to the makeshift cells deeper in the bunker. 

“Killing Abby won’t change the outcome of anything. It does decrease or chances for survival though. She’s the only person here who knows enough about-“Apprentice. Be still. I gave Raven my word that I would give Abby a chance. This is her chance. I want to squeeze her throat until her eyes bulge out of her face and her windpipe crushes in my grasp. But Raven would not appreciate the death of her friend. I choose to keep her alive. She will remain in her prison until Raven wakes up.” Jackson shook his head. “And if she doesn’t?” Luna’s lip curled into a snarl. Her hidden dagger had quickly found its way into her grasp and the thin salt weathered blade against the apprentice’s handsome throat. “Why? Is there something you want to tell me right now?” Jackson, unlike Abby and the others was soft. Not used to confrontation. He seemed likely to fold as Luna’s boots touched his and she glared down into his face. “N-no.” The sound of a gentle trickle make its way to Luna’s ears. She didn’t need to look down to know what it was. “Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. This is an idea I've been exploring for a while now, and I would absolutely love to hear what you think.


End file.
